


Castiel Wants A Threeway

by Samandrielwasgood



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, M/M, Sarcastic Fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-14
Updated: 2014-01-14
Packaged: 2018-01-08 16:27:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1134891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samandrielwasgood/pseuds/Samandrielwasgood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is in a relationship with both Sam and Dean. He decides it's time for them to finally have a threeway. However, Sam and Dean are just appalled by the fact they have to touch each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Castiel Wants A Threeway

Sam, Dean, and Castiel were all sitting in the middle of the room. Castiel had an announcement, and everyone was excited to hear it. He said it was something important, so it had to be.   
Castiel sighed loudly, “Okay, look you two. I’m in a relationship with both of you.” he sat them both down at the table. He stared at the two for a couple minutes. He took a deep breath.   
“And?” Sam started, “We know that. We all agreed on it, that it was the best way to do things.” He glanced over at Dean.   
“I know. Let me finish, Sam.” Castiel crossed his arms.   
“Yeah, Sam. Let him finish.” Dean laughed.   
“You too, Dean.” Castiel snapped at him, “I was going to say. Why haven’t we had a threeway yet? We’re basically all dating each other already.”  
“Ew. Cas. That’s so gross.” Dean squeezed his eyes, “He’s my brother. I don’t want to date him. That’s gross.”   
“Exactly, Cas. Why would you even suggest that?” Dean shook his head, “Gross.”  
“Really?” Castiel frowned, “No one’s going to really care. You’ve never even tried it. We might like having a threeway or something.” he sighed, “I guess neither of you will be able to have my tonight.” Castiel stood up and walked away.  
“Wait!” Dean called to him, “You promised you’d let me fuck you tonight.” he pouted.  
“I know. Remember how I asked you if you were up for a threeway? You were excited about it then.” Castiel turned around to look at them both.  
“Well, you never fucking said it would be with my brother. You know what happens when there’s incest. You get weird babies.” Dean complained.   
Castiel couldn’t even respond to that, “You should know that two men cannot create children together. There’s no consequence of it.”  
“There’s the morals of it!” Sam replied.   
“You two talk about it, and I’ll be in my room. I’ll wear those panties I know both of you like.” He nodded and moved into the bedroom.  
Once Castiel was gone, Sam and Dean looked at each other.  
“Can you believe him?” Dean laughed.  
“I know, right?” Sam laughed, “Why would he even suggest that.”   
Dean paused, “Though, I was really excited to see him in those panties. I’m getting...a..” he looked at Sam. It would be wrong to even tell him about it, “Thing.”   
“Me too.” Sam shuddered, “Oh god. This is weird.”  
“Maybe we can just...Both have sex with him?” Dean suggested, placing his head on his left palm. He hummed.  
“What do you mean?” Sam asked.  
“I mean, we can both have sex with him at the same time, without interacting with each other. It wouldn’t count, as long as we only pay attention to Cas.” Dean shrugged, “It’s foolproof. And I just really want to fuck him while he wears panties.”  
“Me too.” Sam nodded, “Is this going to work?” He asked.  
“It should!” Dean nodded, “Let’s go check with Cas. He’ll like the idea.”   
Sam and Dean ran in to talk to Castiel.   
Castiel was just like he said he would be. He laid back on the bed, legs spread. He was wearing the panties.   
Dean and Sam licked their lips at the same time. They looked at each other, then quickly looked back at Cas.  
“Finally decided to take me on my offer?” Castiel asked. He started to rub himself through the panties, “I’m glad.”  
“Well.” Sam gulped, “We decided to kind of. We’ll have sex with you at the same time, but we’re not going to interact with each other.”  
“That defeats the purpose.” Castiel furrowed his eyebrows.   
“No.” Dean shook his head. He moved on the bed next to Castiel.  
“Whatever.” Castiel sighed, “One of you can fuck me, and I’ll give the other a blow job.”   
“Perfect.” Sam nodded.   
Dean leaned over and started to kiss Castiel roughly, “I want you so badly, Cas.” he whispered against his mouth.  
Castiel moaned and patted the bed next to him, inviting Sam. Sam quickly joined and closed his eyes. He softly started kissing Cas’s neck.  
“See.” Castiel pulled back from his kiss with Dean, “This is what I want.” He laid back again.   
Sam still had his eyes closed, “So. What next?” he asked.  
“You both know how sex works. Come on.” Castiel frowned.   
“Right. Sorry.” Sam nodded.  
The foreplay worked perfectly. As long as Sam and Dean didn’t touch each other, they were fine. They still had clothes on. Castiel was so eager to change that.   
Sam stood at the edge of the bed. Castiel licked his lips. He moved and kneeled in front of him. Dean decided it would be best if he sat on the bed, not bothering with whatever they were doing at the moment. His time would end up being later. He pulled his jeans down, and decided to pull the boxers down as well. “I love your cock.” he smirked, stroking it. Dean turned his head to look at Castiel. He accidently trailed his eyes down at Sam’s cock. It was a lot bigger than he was expecting Sam to be.   
“Oh my god!” Dean yelled, “I looked at it!” he jumped off the bed.   
“Dean!” Sam moaned and gasped, “Why did you look it! Oh my god!” he squeezed his eyes.  
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! It was just there! Ew. I never want to see your dick ever!” He put his head in his hands.  
“Grow up you two.” Castiel rolled his eyes, and put his mouth on Sam’s dick. He started bobbing his head.   
“Ah...Cas.” Sam breathed.  
“I did it again!” Dean yelled.  
“Jesus Christ!” Sam groaned, “Just turn around or something!”  
“I need to put bleach in my eyes to get rid out of that image!” Dean complained.   
Castiel pulled away from Sam’s cock, “Why don’t I just blindfold both of you. It’ll teach you guys it doesn’t really matter.” He stood up. He pulled Sam’s shirt off, and pulled his own panties down.   
Sam moved on to the bed. He stroked himself a bit, watching Cas’s ass as he moved to their sex drawer. He pulled out two blindfolds. “There. You asswipes. Stop complaining.” He tossed each brother one. They put it on.  
“Better.” Dean smiled.  
“I’m going to go on my hands and knees on the bed. I’ll suck Sam, and Dean, you prep me and then fuck me.” He said. He pulled Dean on to the bed. He got on to his hands and knees like he said he would.   
Sam kneeled to give Cas more access. Castiel smirked and started to blow Sam again.   
Dean prepped Cas, and then pushed into him. He rested his hands on to Cas’s shoulders as he started to pound into him roughly. Dean was in complete bliss. He loved to fuck Castiel. It was one of the only things that truly made him happy.   
Castiel let out a shout while Dean fucked him. He felt so good. His shout was muffled by Sam’s cock.   
Sam smirked, he loved Castiel’s mouth. It was one of his best body parts. He moaned and moved to put his hands on Cas’s shoulders.   
Dean quickly pulled out, “Oh my god. Sam.” he panicked.   
“Shit! Oh my god. No!” Sam gasped.  
“Hey!” Castiel whined, “Dean.”  
“I touched Sam’s hands! Oh my god. This is so gross. I’m going to puke.” Dean stood up. He got off the bed and put his clothes on, and took the blindfold off. He screamed, “I saw his penis again!”  
“Dean! Stop!” Sam got off the bed.  
“Put it away!” Dean yelled.  
“I will oh my god! Dean stop looking! It’s so wrong! Dean!” Sam pulled his boxers on.   
“You two are so fucking ridiculous.” Castiel groaned. He sat up and crossed his arms.  
“You wouldn’t understand, Cas.” Dean started, “I’m mentally scarred. I touched my brother during sex. I looked at his dick!”   
“I need to go shower.” Sam shuttered and ran off. He quickly went into the shower and started rapidly washing his body from any place his brother could have seen or touched.  
“Well I might as well go into some battery acid because I’ll never be able to get the scar in my brain out from this.” Dean almost cried. He ran out of the room, to heaven knows where.  
Castiel just sighed. He knew it would never work out anyway. Those darn brothers. They knew it was so wrong for them to look at each other during a threeway, and they took the risk anyway. How could they have known that being in a threeway with each other would end up in incest. They paid such a huge price for it. What a shame.

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic was completely sarcastic. I got a comment on one of my Wincestiel fics complaining that it had Wincest in it. So I decided to finally supply people with the fanfiction they've been looking for!


End file.
